Goodbye Halloween

I used to always claim Halloween as my favorite holiday.  It is a holiday with no pressure to celebrate it or not.  There is no obligation to visit family, buy gifts, send cards or cook food.  Yes, there is a deeper meaning to it than trick or treating and dressing in costume, but mostly it just about having fun.  No one seems to really mind that it's deeper meaning of honoring the dead has gotten lost in all the hoopla of costumes and candy.  Most people don't know why it is celebrated and most don't really care.  I don't think I care either.

It's just fun.  Dressing up in a costume and playing a different character is a chance to escape from the normal, everyday routine.  I love fall.  The moon in October is usually spectacular.  The weather is usually perfect.  What better time to celebrate than before the "real" holidays come, the cold sets in and the year is over?  

I used to look forward to Halloween every year and would love to dress up, decorate my house and hand out candy to kids.  Many milestones in my life have passed on October 31st.  I sort of considered it my special day.  The last 2 years, my heart just hasn't been in it, though.  Today seems like it will make 3 years I have not celebrated my special day or even really enjoyed it.  No trick or treaters will come here where I live, no party to go to, no pumpkin to carve.  Today I realized I have been living alone, really alone, the last 3 years and when no one is around to share things with, it makes things dull.  Halloween has become just another day for me.  Nothing special has happened on Halloween for me the last few years.  I guess it's no longer my special day.  I think from now on, it will pass me without much notice.  Seems just another opportunity to detach.   I suppose it's goodbye, Halloween.