Non-doing Means Freedom to Me

There is one Universal Cosmic Source that runs the show. It is creation Itself. From this Source of Creation the entire universe is projected, including the individual "I" known as Uma. The individual "I" that I consider to be me is like a hologram being projected from Pure Consciousness. The individual "I" is an integral part of the Cosmic Scheme fully equipped with an individual consciousness, a mind that thinks and feels, along with a body that touches, tastes, hears, smells and sees.

 The individual "I"  is like the tentacles of an octopus. The tentacles of an octopus are it's extremities; extremities that see and feel and send their impressions to the octopus brain. They are never separate from the octopus. They do not exist without the octopus. They exist as part of the octopus. The individual "I" is the farthest outward reaching extension of Pure Consciousness, the "feelers" for Consciousness. "I" is merely the reporter of an experience being had. "I" exists because of Consciousness conjured it up, not because "I" thought itself into existence.

Since "I" cannot be not separate from Consciousness, as if "I" ever actually were, "I" would not exist. "I" must have a sense of personal will. If "I" did not have that sense, "I" would probably be unable to function. This sense of personal will empowers it with the desire to choose this or that. However, what "I" desires is not something "I" can control. In reality, there is nothing "I" can control, but "I" really enjoys thinking it can. This sense of personal will is more like a regulator of the system and gives the body/mind system the ability to do or not do. This regulator is designed to seek pleasure and avoid pain. "I" is perfect by design. If "I" am being myself, being truthful, being authentic this regulator cannot fail me.

Every single thing that happens in the Universe good, bad or indifferent happens on it's own. The same Source that regulates "I" regulates the entire universe. It's all made from the same thing and designed to do the same thing. Although a dog will look and act like a dog and a cat will look and act like a cat, their only purpose is to be a celebration of existence.  Your purpose, my purpose and everything in creation is merely for celebration and entertainment of Consciousness. It is "I" that takes itself so seriously and feels so intensely the importance of it's fate.

The Source does not judge good, bad or indifferent. Those are concepts for the human mind. Creation simply creates and does so impartially. As Consciousness inhales, inspiration arises and with it's exhale a world is created.  Encompassing all that IS, is everything... beautiful, ugly, good and evil. It is "I" that has the concepts and attaches the labels. Consciousness only breathes. This entire physical reality is being projected like a movie in front of our field of consciousness. Sometimes it is of sublime beauty, and sometimes it is of unfathomable horror. But whatever it is we see, feel and experience is passing. Nothing lasts forever.

Both suffering and bliss come and go like the waves of the ocean rolling in and rolling out. No more than we can control the waves in the ocean can we control what comes and goes in our lives. Whatever issues, problems, fears, etc. that "I" has are just passing experiences. "I" does not direct the show. If "I" realizes that it is not separate from it's Source, it realizes it has the power of the entire universe with it's reach. "I" can face the "ultimate monster," and if I do not believe in duality, "I" will see the monster as itself; and "I" is not designed to self destruct. "I" is designed to celebrate existence Itself.

There is no monster we cannot face, unless we are afraid of our own self. Now, that would be insanity, wouldn't it? Insanity comes through our resistance to what IS. Suffering is not our problem. Our acceptance of it is. At our very rudimentary, ignorant level, we will always seek pleasure over pain. Even if I am the most ignorant person in the world, " I" have this same regulator. If "I" can realize just this one fact, "I" can breathe deeper and sleep more soundly at night.

It is not up to us, and that's the freedom. There is nothing to do. It has already been done. We are merely playing out our lives like the characters of a story. Only this story is being created as we act it out, and the ending has not been yet decided. We will end up doing whatever we end up doing. Through the sense of our personal will, we will make choices based on our desires. There is a fool proof system we are equipped with that is perfect by design. We have all the power in the universe backing us. To realize this, we must only be our Self. Relax, you are not the mess you think you are. Reach beyond the illusion, and seek only truth. That, my friends, is our salvation.

You Complete Me and Other Horseshit

The purpose of relationship is not for two incomplete people to become complete. The purpose of relationship is for two people to ignite each other for deeper exploration of their own being so that they will become a more clear channel of Spirit and support each other for a greater to connection to God. We are whole and complete just as we are. There is no other person that can realize this for us. We can all relate to the desire to find the perfect partner. It is pretty much an obsession in our society to find that special someone for that special relationship. If we don't have a special someone, we are typically looking for one. And if we do have a special someone, we are usually trying to fix them so that they better fit our ideal.

One of our biggest delusions is that a relationship can fix us. The second is that we can fix someone else. Often we want to love and feel love because of psychic wounds. We think there is some special someone out there that can make our pain go away and if we find someone that soothes that pain even just a little, we hold on for dear life no matter how much mud it drags us through. The only love that completes us, the only love that heals us is the love of God. However, God doesn't stroke our hair at night, so more so than Ultimate Peace, we crave a warm body.

Often we think we are "in love" with a person when we are anything but. Curious creatures that we are, we are always looking for something and then sabotaging it when we find it. This is because we are looking for the wrong thing. When we are looking for that special relationship, we are seeking to heal the wrong wound. Our wound is too deep for a mortal to handle. We seek to fill our internal emptiness caused by a sense of  separation from own Self.

We approach relationship from a place of need, "What can I get? How are my needs going to be met?" As long as we use relationships to serve our ego's purposes, we will fail at them. If we are not allowing others to make mistakes and be themselves, we can know we are not accepting our own mistakes and being our self. The ego isn't looking for someone to love in as much as the ego is looking for someone to blame because if there is no one else to blame, we must blame ourselves.

It is more palatable to see our faults in another. In reality, we are only seeing a reflection of our own self.  A relationship must have a solid foundation of truth or there is really nothing there at all except games for the mind to play in already very well worn psychic grooves.... just patterns to be repeated. We look for these reflections of our self to discover what lies beneath the surface. Unfortunately, when we see what's there, we are sometimes disillusioned and afraid. The truth of us is not usually the image we prefer to  project. We wear masks for each other as not to expose our rawness, our ugliness or our scars. If I am afraid to show you the real truth about me... my fears and my weaknesses... it is because I am afraid that if you see them, you'll leave. It is because I am assuming you are as judgmental and unaccepting as I am. And I need you, because I do not feel whole.

More than teaching us to love and accept ourselves, often our "special" relationships teach us to attack and defend. They often end leaving us feeling either victimized or guilty. Instead of self love, self acceptance and self esteem, they teach us co-dependence, create psychic wounds and how to disrespect ourselves. So what is the answer? How do we fill the void? How do we fulfill the desire to connect with each other without loosing touch with the truth of ourselves? How do we feel complete? We start by being truthful with our self first. And if we don't know how to do that, we should pray until we figure it out, because that's all we have.

Our neuroses in relationships mostly stems from our own agendas for the other person or the relationship itself. It is not our job to try to make a relationship into something we think it should be. It is our job to find what is sacred in ourselves first and then look for that in the other person. Whatever we look for we will find. Sacredness is not a thing. Sacredness is an awareness. If we don't see that, perhaps they're not meant for us. Not every relationship is meant to be the ultimate romance. Many relationships are simply for a space in time. A sacred relationship is for a lifetime.

Until we know what it is we truly desire we will continue to aimlessly seek all that which is wrong for us only to find fault in others and in ourselves. At the deepest place within each of us is the desire to be whole. Wholeness is the only antidote to loneliness. If we are feeling alone, if we are afraid, it is because we have the mistaken belief we are separate from God. Unity with God is not an experience or an intellectual concept. It is the truth we eventually arrive upon.

Don't kid yourself. If you need someone to complete you, your priorities are eschew. The only sacred relationship is with God. All others stem from that like branches on a tree. Get it right with God first. Get it right with your Self. Learn to see yourself without the mask, and then expose yourself to others. Imposters can only know imposters. Beloveds can only know Beloveds.

Soulmates and Other Scary Things

Relationships are eternal. Separation is simply another chapter. Commitment in a relationship is commitment to a mutual process of understanding and forgiveness. A true commitment is when we show up again and again no matter how many conversations it takes, no matter how uncomfortable it gets. It doesn't mean we will never let go. It means we surrender to the process. Part of learning to how to truly share love is understanding when it is time to leave and doing so without abandoning each other.

Bodies untangle much easier than minds. No matter how disassociated with our feelings we might be, there is an energetic cord that connects us to each other that cannot be cut. Every intense encounter represents a deep and complicated karmic connection whether that person is a lover, a friend, a teacher, a sibling or a parent. The sadness experienced from the ending of a relationship is often more so than death. In death there is a sense of completion. Sometimes more so than the missing of another person, it is the lack resolve and acceptance that creates a hole which continuously leaks our energy. We crave resolution to fill the void, to feel wholesome.

Obviously some relationships effect us more deeply than others. There are 3 basic categories of relationships. First category are those involving common interests and are more superficial. The second are those we are pulled to for more intense work and often the relationships we are most comfortable with and those we desire the most. The last type are those that teach us the most and perhaps are the most challenging.

I read once that if you ever meet your soulmate you should runaway as fast as you can. We have romanticized an unrealistic ideal of the concept of a soulmate. Our soulmates (and while we have more than one, we encounter only a few during our lifetime) are those we have the deepest karmic ties. Those who have the most to teach us and those that consciously or unconsciously challenge our fears. They show us our walls, the places we can't love anymore, the places we cannot connect more deeply, the places we cannot forgive, the places we have forgotten.

We are in each others lives to heal and be healed. Relationships can either seductively pull us away from God or forcefully catapult us into God. We don't choose relationships. We collide into them. We don't choose what type of relationship we have with others, that energetic cord ties the knots that bind us to each other. To honor the sacredness or our relationships, is to honor God. Resolution never comes through escape. A broken mirror only multiplies. Love exposes our fears. If  we do not know our fears, we cannot know love. It is impossible to abandon God.