Free Your Mind

"When you constantly go beyond yourself there are no limitations." -- Michael Singer

Want to know what the hell is going on in the world? We are always being called to go outside the confines of the box of our minds. Now is always the best time to listen. Our beliefs can create the walls that separate us from the truth and from each other.  If you are afraid to question your belief system, then your belief system rests in shaky ground. If you are grounded in your convictions, you are unshakable. It is important to understand the difference between what you think you know and truth that rests at the very core of your being.

Beliefs come from our intelligence. Convictions come from our wisdom. Beliefs need to be defended. Convictions have already won the battle without a fight.  Beliefs need supporters, admirers and followers. Convictions stand on their own two feet and can walk the path alone without need for glorification. Beliefs are often based on judgements and perceptions, yours and others. While we can learn from example and the lives of  great beings can inspire us, convictions are based on understanding, exploration,  and your own experience of blood, sweat and tears, not those of someone else.

Why so much worry about the beliefs of someone else?  Can you take a stand for what you belief in without making someone else wrong for what they believe? They may be wrong. You may be wrong. What makes your wrong less wrong than theirs. If it is truth, then it can take a lot of mud slinging, beating and battering and it won't be harmed. It won't ever change. It is not subjective. It exists without anyone's belief in it. Truth does not need to be protected. I am not saying we shouldn't take a stand for what we believe even though it may not be a conviction yet, but we should give ourselves and others some growing room.  A conviction is a belief that has been tested.  We are all learning here.  

For me, a dangerous person is someone who believes they have nothing learn. That is a person that is so afraid, that they have cast the walls of their box in impenetrable stone. Surround yourself with yourself and your are limited with yourself.  Inside your box lives your small mind with all it's thoughts, all it's worries, all it's justifications, all it's rationalizations, all it's me, me, me. Outside your box an entire universe of possibilities, expansive thoughts, solutions and understandings exists for you. Now is the time to step outside your box. We need each other. The boxes are in the way.

 Free your mind. Open your heart. Spread some love.

My Muse

I am hoping that before I die I will come to understand time but doubt, in a very large way, I ever will. It's not the ticking away of the hours in a day that I care about understanding. That just seems like math. What I want to understand is what happens to all those experiences, all those feelings and all those thoughts that once held such importance, created such turmoil, such heartache, such joy. Where do they go when I am no longer experiencing them, feeling them or thinking about them? Is there somewhere in which they are held, or do they just disappear entirely? Do I change, or I am I just experiencing, feeling and thinking differently?

I sit here in my comfy chair on this sublimely sweet and peaceful Sunday morning listening to the birds chirping, enjoying the soft, morning light gently move through my house with the desire to write. Hallelujah!  That muse has visited me so very infrequently over the last 6 months. Yes, 6 months! Just as I recommitted myself to finishing my book, she left.  My writing (what little of it there has been) has been forced or strained for the most part. What wasn't forced out of me seemed to be vomited out of me, neither of which was enjoyable to write or to read. And so... just like that... she floats in this morning, without explanation, invitation or even warning.

A muse lives in their own world on their own time, or perhaps with no understanding or concern of time at all. Without her I seem to be lost. My words are illusive. My thoughts don't connect. My heart hides it's feelings. This beautiful September morning calls me outside. My dog paces in anticipation of a walk. My to do list is writing itself in my head. But my muse has arrived in all her glory and is holding me hostage. She has something to say finally, and I am most curious to know. Here I will sit, fingers on the keyboard, as the words flow until she is done.

My last blog was March 13. Has it really been 6 months?  Why did she go away for so long? Her answer to me is that she never left. She knows no difference in time and space. She's always here and always there. That impish creature can never be pinned down! Her answers are riddles, and her commitments vague and abstract.  She tells me it is me that goes away and that I can go away for very, very long times, because I tend to get lost. I get lost in my experiences, my feelings and my thoughts. I get lost in time, because I think it matters. And the only thing that truly matters is right here, right now. How I am living right here and right now determines how I will be living in 1 hour, 1week and 1 year. All my plans, all my goals, all my wants and all my needs for the future mean nothing, if I cannot just show up right here, right now.  If I could just get that, really get that for once and for all... I would never get lost again.

I could write about my experiences, my feelings and my thoughts over the last six months. I could tell you where I have been, and what I have been doing. I could tell you of my heartache, my confusion, my clarity and everything else in between, but I realize in this moment... It is not happening.  The past is a story I write down in my psyche. The experiences, the feelings and the thoughts about it disappear wherever it is that takes time away. What I am left with is the imprint of the story I wrote down that leaves a permanent groove somewhere in my memory. What I have learned is that the stories we write effect the way we experience the future. It is tremendously important that we get our facts straight.

I am reminded of a book I just recently re-read, Don Miguel Ruiz's Four Agreements. Before we write those stories that become embedded in our psyche grooves I think we should apply the first Two Agreements:  1.  Be Impeccable with Your Word;  2.  Don't Take Anything Personally.  I realize I have some work to do on the stories I have written, because I have big plans for myself. I am cleaning house so to speak. There's some dust in the corners that has been there far too long. Now that I have found my muse again, I think I will have a lot to say. Stay tuned, or perhaps just stay tuned in. What I thought she would have me write about this morning didn't not come. I am curious to see when it does. Now, apparently, is not the time,  but I am compelled to let you in on something I have been experimenting with... Making Sober Sexy.  But not right here, right now...

Be Brave. Be Truthful. Shine On.

Do You Know Your Demons?

It is important to know your angels, but it may be more important to know your demons. If your angels are in the background doing their angelic work unbeknownst to you, it is not a problem. They have your back. If your demons are uprising without your awareness, they are deconstructing your life. No matter how many good intentions are made or goals that are set, if your demons are rearing their ugly heads, nothing will come to fruition. 

Your demons exist because there are aspects of yourself  you have not dealt with. They cover up your deep seeded wounds that have not been healed, and they are much uglier than the pain that hides underneath them.  You grow so used to these demons hanging around that you often don't even notice them until they have already wrecked their havoc. 

The thing about demons is you have to befriend them. Hating them only makes them more hostile. The first step in accepting your demons is to get to know them intimately. Learn their tricks of deception. Don't be fooled by their disguises. Explore the places they hide. And never, never let them intimidate you. The only power they have is your fear of them. Fear is their breeding ground. 

Your demons like to hide in the dark, ugly aspects of yourself you don't want to see. Those are the places you must learn to love so that healing begins. Demons cannot survive in love. Fear is their master. Where there is love, fear cannot exist.  

Shine on with your love light blaring in the darkest corners of your being. Destroy their homes and plant seeds of compassion where their wickedness festered from your pain. Allow your wounds to be exposed so they can heal and watch your life take an amazing new shape. 

Be Brave. Be Transparent. Live out Loud.

Dog Wisdom

Why is it dogs show more wisdom than humans? My dog is often my guru. Dogs seem to have an innate understanding and deep knowing  of the really important things in life. Possessing patience beyond human capabilities, they put up with us clueless humans, loving us unconditionally in spite of our all our ridiculousness. 

My sweet dog, Izzy, is 3ish-4ish . We don't really know how old she is, because we don't know where she came from. They found her in a nearby county emaciated, injured and having signs of a recently having had a litter. No puppies to be found though. She was scared, starving and sick but I am told, was never anything but sweet. 

We rescued each other 2 years ago. Our relationship was rocky in the beginning. I don't think Izzy had lived inside a house before, ridden in a car before or walked on a leash before. There was a lot to be learned about each other. We had some arguments. There were some losses. A few pair of shoes and a variety of miscellaneous items chewed beyond recognition along with some unpleasant rides through slippery mud being pulled by an enthusiastic, squirrel chasing beast, were a small price to pay for love. Though there were trials and tribulations in adjusting to our cohabitation, after about 1 month, we found our rhythm. 

Someone was mean to Izzy at one time. Quick movements toward her, a loud truck or a man's loud voice frightened her. Although much less now, to some degree, they still do. In spite of her fears, she LOVES people. Her favorite place is right, smack dab in the middle of a large group, a small group or in a lap (even though she weighs 50 pounds). Her desire to connect with people overrides her fear of them. I watch her transcend this fear all the time. 

Not women, but men seem to scare her. It doesn't stop her from approaching them though; however, she does it differently than she approaches women. When Izzy meets a man, she goes towards them and waits for a signal before she comes close. If she gets a yes, she sort of slowly waggles her entire body towards them and then falls at their feet and then rolls over for a belly rub. It's an interesting ritual. I always think what a brave and beautiful soul she is when I see her do this. Instead running from what she is afraid of, she is curious about it. She approaches it with caution. She respects it and then surrenders. Do you think we could learn a few things from this approach?

Today is a beautiful spring-like, Sunday morning... mine and Izzy's long walk day. We usually go to the woods on Sunday mornings, which is really her favorite thing to do, but I was lazy this today. Since we weren't going to walk in the woods, I figured at least we should take a different route through the neighborhood than our usual weekday walk. We wound around the neighborhood soaking up the sun breathing in spring for about an hour when we started to head back home. We walk fast.  Mostly because Izzy likes to walk fast, and I don't like being pulled by the leash... so I keep up. I think that's supposed to be the other way around, but it works for us.

About a half mile from home, I think Izzy realized where we were going. Her pace slowed down almost to a turtle's crawl. I checked to see if there was something wrong, like she had a thorn in her paw or something. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with her. I noticed she was just taking things in. She was savoring the day. She looked at me with those soft, intelligent amber eyes and then towards the sun as she took in a big whiff of spring. It was as if she was saying to me, " Do you see this beauty? Let's slow down and breathe this in. Take in this moment with me." Maybe I am delusional, but it sure did seemed that way to me. Regardless, I slowed down, breathed deeper and noticed a lot more as I did so. It's always about the journey, not the destination. We took another loop around before going home... this time with more feeling.





   

Touching God

True spirituality stirs your blood. It touches the deepest layer of your heart. It feeds your soul. It is so much fulfilling that nothing else matters. Disillusionment with spirituality happens when it is only a mental exercise, a conditioned belief, a recitation of scripture. Many critics consider yoga asana merely physical exercise and say, "You will never find God on a Yoga mat." I think you just might, if that's where you are looking for God.

 I see asana practice as praying with my entire body. Intellectuals feel that the act of ritual is for those unable to understand the abstract concepts of spirituality. Ritual is a way I spend time with God without the distractions of my mind. It is a way of being grateful, an outward expression of my love and devotion to that which matters most to me. Grand churches and temples are built to house God, so that people have a place to find him. I find God everywhere, all the time. And when I'm not "finding" God, I go to nature. I sit on the ground and feel the support of the earth beneath me. I breathe in the air and watch the clouds float by, and I feel my mind settle back down into my body. I hear the birds chirp, the crickets sing, the stream babble or the ocean roar, and my body aligns itself with the rhythm of nature, the rhythm of God. I feel the the rays of the sun expand my body with it's warmth, and I find space for the places that were constricting it. My eyes go soft as I watch the twinkling stars of the night sky, and the moonshine mystifies me as I breathe in the vastness of existence.

No, I do not need a church or a temple to find God. Spirituality without sensuality is difficult for us human beings. God is in our aliveness, in the aliveness of nature, in the aliveness of each other. I find God anywhere, when I look with the totality of my being. Go ahead, reach out and touch God. You know you've touched God when you feel your blood rushing through your veins, when you feel the beat of your heart expand your chest, when you feel your breath down into your toes.... And then, when in every cell of your being is pulsating with aliveness,  go beyond your sensations, beyond your thoughts and there, in that space where nothing happens, you are with God.