Do You Know the Wholenss of Your Life?

Do you know the wholeness of your life?  Often, I am only experiencing, viewing or understanding the fragments of my life, like a collection of vignettes in a movie lacking a connecting thread, a storyboard lacking a theme, words lacking sentences.  Writing somehow helps me to connect the dots.  I just sit with a concept and then spew out what comes to me.  Through my spewing out, I am able to view my thoughts more clearly.  In my efforts to communicate my thoughts, a certain clarity about them is realized.  

Our life not only consists of our thoughts, our concepts and our experiences, but those thoughts, concepts and experiences of those we interact with, as well as collectively the cosmic thoughts, cosmic concepts and cosmic experiences.  We forget that life is with us and without us.  It is above us and below us.  It is in us and around us.  Our mind can only grasp one, very small, microcosm of it at a time.  To understand the wholeness of our life, it is as if we must download the mind, like defragmenting the main frame.  What is left after defragmentation is the integrity of the minds knowledge, not it's fragments, not what it thinks it knows, but what it actually understands.

Writing to me has become this defragmenting process.  The wholeness of my life is not in the stories themselves but my relationship to these stories, who am I in these stories and how the vignette of my life fits into the big picture.  For me to see what is inside, I must often spit it out first.