Soulmates and Other Scary Things

Relationships are eternal. Separation is simply another chapter. Commitment in a relationship is commitment to a mutual process of understanding and forgiveness. A true commitment is when we show up again and again no matter how many conversations it takes, no matter how uncomfortable it gets. It doesn't mean we will never let go. It means we surrender to the process. Part of learning to how to truly share love is understanding when it is time to leave and doing so without abandoning each other.

Bodies untangle much easier than minds. No matter how disassociated with our feelings we might be, there is an energetic cord that connects us to each other that cannot be cut. Every intense encounter represents a deep and complicated karmic connection whether that person is a lover, a friend, a teacher, a sibling or a parent. The sadness experienced from the ending of a relationship is often more so than death. In death there is a sense of completion. Sometimes more so than the missing of another person, it is the lack resolve and acceptance that creates a hole which continuously leaks our energy. We crave resolution to fill the void, to feel wholesome.

Obviously some relationships effect us more deeply than others. There are 3 basic categories of relationships. First category are those involving common interests and are more superficial. The second are those we are pulled to for more intense work and often the relationships we are most comfortable with and those we desire the most. The last type are those that teach us the most and perhaps are the most challenging.

I read once that if you ever meet your soulmate you should runaway as fast as you can. We have romanticized an unrealistic ideal of the concept of a soulmate. Our soulmates (and while we have more than one, we encounter only a few during our lifetime) are those we have the deepest karmic ties. Those who have the most to teach us and those that consciously or unconsciously challenge our fears. They show us our walls, the places we can't love anymore, the places we cannot connect more deeply, the places we cannot forgive, the places we have forgotten.

We are in each others lives to heal and be healed. Relationships can either seductively pull us away from God or forcefully catapult us into God. We don't choose relationships. We collide into them. We don't choose what type of relationship we have with others, that energetic cord ties the knots that bind us to each other. To honor the sacredness or our relationships, is to honor God. Resolution never comes through escape. A broken mirror only multiplies. Love exposes our fears. If  we do not know our fears, we cannot know love. It is impossible to abandon God.