Can we trust our belief that we are not a doer and still get angry and blame others? The answer is yes and no. If we have had the realization we are not the doer, then we have realized the core of our being. Resting there is an unshakable conviction, and at our core is Divine Perfection. There is no "other." If there is only the One, then there is no you and no me. So who could we be angry at? Who can we blame? Can I even blame myself if I am convinced there is no doer, that there is only the Divine Scheme?
Regardless of our conviction, in this physical reality and this energetic space, there is a thinker that thinks, a feeler that feels and a doer that does. There are layers of energetic patterns and psychic grooves, our karmas and samskaras unique to us. We can not truthfully say the individual does not exist, as we are an integral part of the Whole. The energetic body carrying all it's karmas and samskaras, as well as our physical, mental and emotional bodies are very much alive.
I am most peaceful when I am alone in Nature. I find it most easy to flow with the Oneness of it All when I do not have to engage with the world. My relationship with God is most easy when I spend lots of time in solitude and meditation. Something different comes into play when I am involved in relationship with others. From the the very core of my being I connect to the very core of their being. That is the easy part. When our karmas dance, when our samskaras collide and especially when our emotional bodies meet, the pot gets stirred.
No one wants to hear that they are not being truthful, but the truth is we are all liars. To understand Non-doing, we must first accept we have been fooling our self and others throughout our existence. We don't do this consciously. It is an unconscious psychic, emotional pattern based on fear and conditioning and until all the layers of our being become completely integrated and aligned with our convictions, we will continue to live the lie of duality and doership. We will continue to get angry and blame others.
It is our emotional bodies that create the screeching between two individuals. If you don't behave the way I expect you to behave based on my established conditioning as to what kind of relationship we have mutually agreed upon, I will experience some sort of emotional disturbance and blame you. Depending on my personality and the type of relationship I have with you, that emotional disturbance could be experienced as anger, resentment, hurt or withdrawal. And your emotional body will react to my emotional body with it's individual emotional patterns and psychic grooves. So there we are two liars fully. invested in the duality of existence, not experiencing the Oneness of it All.
Relationship is the spiritual seeker's final frontier. Just because we experience emotion, just because we get angry, just because we blame another does not mean that we have not realized the core of our being. It is simply an indicator that our emotional body has not fully integrated with our deepest convictions. If there is screeching in a relationship, then there is some untruthfulness between the parties. More superficial relationships are often smoother, but not as rewarding. Superficial relationships are often based on commonalities. We may enjoy the same books, the same pastimes, the same work, the same emotional and physical pleasures, the same, same. These outward commonalities make it easy to enjoy the world together even when there may not be a deeper, more spiritual connection. Even many marriages are like this. Emotional and physical bonding does not necessarily have to be based on truth.
A spiritual relationship is based on Truth. Emotional and physical bonding may cause screeching as karmas and samskaras work themselves out. With a foundation based on truth, when your untruthfulness meets my untruthfulness, a process of clearing will be ignited. This is often not fun. This is the crux of transformation in our relationships. We can either run for the hills or be willing to roll in the muck for awhile. I have discovered that Truth is the only thing worth pursuing. I have discovered that no matter how difficult it can get down in the trenches of physicality and emotionalism, that if my relationships are based on a foundation of truth, then all the treasurers of the Kingdom, all the love, all the joy, all, the sublime beauty from the Oneness of it All are shining like diamonds underneath the rubble of transformation.
If you get angry and blame another, then you must blame yourself as well. You must hold some belief in the layers of your personality that identifies you with the doer. Ask yourself, who is this doer? Is it me? Is there a solid entity present in this moment, or is it a ghost of my past or a aberration of my future? Ask yourself, if you can be anywhere but where you are right now? Who are you, and where are you?
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