What's Your Word?

I just read a most insightful book, The Call by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Don’t let the New Age name fool you. She’s one of the most truthful, down-to-earth, spiritual writers I have read. I recommend reading any of her books, but this one showed up for me at just the right time. It is my favorite of hers, as I find her the most raw in this one. There seems to be a lot of self help books and workshops to help one find their “purpose.” Finding one’s “purpose” is seemingly quite a challenging, life long duty, or is it? I like the way Oriah approaches this in her book. Ninety percent of her book is describing in a very poetic, as well as real life, way what the Call (one’s purpose) is, but in one paragraph in the second to last chapter, she very simply sums it up and tells you how to discover it. She suggests a starting point. She says to ask yourself, “If you could say one word to the world if you knew the world was listening attentively and would to the best of its ability follow the directive this word sent out, what would that word be? I think this is brilliant and what is even more brilliant is she tells you that she thinks this word will tell you where to begin and that not-doing (I relate to Non-Doing, but I think we are addressing the same philosophy) “will allow the one word you are to embody fill you and begin to shape your life.”

I, wholeheartedly, agree, and I already know my word. I have always known my word even when I couldn’t remember it. We all know “our word.” We all may have a different word, but we know what it is and all the words lead to the same place… Awareness. Sit with it and wait... not in an impatient, goal oriented way… but just sit and ask yourself what word out of all words from any language resonates with you the most. Be conscious and wait. Your word may be “love” but it could be another. Everyone resonates with love. Try not to be too impulsive, too creative or too “anything”. Maybe it will come to you written on the inside of your eyelids in big bold letters. Maybe you will hear it softly spoken or loudly yelled by your own or someone else’s voice, or maybe you’ll hear it in the wind. Maybe you will understand it through a vision. However it comes, it doesn’t matter… Just sit and wait.

My word is “integrity.” I remember when I first fell in love with this word. It was about 20 years ago. I was a young spiritual seeker involved with a group of other seekers exploring, as our teacher called her approach, “A Call to Greatness.” If I were to sum up the single most important thing I learned from that teacher over the couple of years I studied with her was, that without your integrity you have nothing. She used to say, “be integrible.” At the time I did not realize “integrible” is not a word. It should be, but its not. I used to use it all the time until my mother saw something I had written once using that word and told me. Regardless, of being “integrible” or not, I found practicing integrity made life easier.

I am not saying that I embody the ideal of integrity. It may be my word because it is something that I need to cultivate more of. However it works, when that word comes to my consciousness, I feel that help is on its way… that soundness is about to take over the wheel, and I will be getting out of my own way. Back in the day, when I was consciously practicing integrity, I found it easier to be myself, to express myself and to love myself. As with most things, if you practice them long enough, it happens without much conscious thought. Also, as with most things, if you don’t ever give it any conscious thought you might forget a few things. I discovered I needed a refresher course.

During my recent silent retreat, when I was exploring why it was I was not as comfortable being with myself as I had in the past, this word came to me. I hadn’t read that paragraph in Oriah’s book yet but when I did, I already knew my word. I am again practicing integrity, and seeing as I should be an expert at by now, I am adding “impeccable” to it. I no longer will except any excuses for any lack of integrity on my part. I am either integrible or I’m not. Making excuses by validating or justifying something I’ve done against my own sense of what is right or good or fair or just is what created the problem in the first place. One can never be completely truthful with their self without having integrity in thought, word and action. We can never be free until we learn to be truthful with ourselves, because we will stay bound protecting the false image of ourselves we have created. Understandably, we do not want to see what is dark, what is ugly, what is greedy or angry. If we could only know that we are not this darkness, this ugliness, this greediness or anger, we would know they are only passing thoughts or feelings and no longer be afraid to look at them. If we were only to be truthful, the veil that covers the true light of our being would be exposed in all its glory and all its beauty.

I imagine sometimes I will have impeccable integrity, and I imagine sometimes I will slip up. It is only a place to start… a spark for the fire. The fire will burn on its own. To look deeply into to one’s self takes courage and compassion, but if you don’t look you will never know who you are and will become lost, confused and frustrated trying to find out. I can trust to look more deeply if the incorruptibility of integrity is by my side. If I were to have one request of the world, I would ask that it show me more integrity. The world is a reflection of consciousness, as I am a reflection of consciousness. If I am reflecting integrity, then it shall be reflected right back to me. Yep, integrity is my word… no doubt about it. What’s your word?